I am going to spread an important secret. It seems that this secret, despite being handed down from generation to generation, has not been taught properly, as no-one seems to know it.
I will tell you all that very important secret now. Continue reading
So, I decided that everyone needed to be taught some pretty important shit, because no-one was showing the slightest hint of intelligence beyond the base level required to breathe and have a heartbeat. You are having a bigger effect on someone that you realise. Sometimes it’s good, others, well, other times it can be downright shitty. This stops now. Continue reading
The world is built of many types of people. Loads of people. We need most of them. Emphasis on most. What we really need now is common sense. Something so rare it’s become a bloody superpower. Continue reading
So, I have decided to share my new theory. Every country and major state has a choice of only two exports; cake or death. Continue reading
I love my cat, with all my heart, pity the squash, because he has to share my heart with the fat, contented house moggy, but he seems to have happily accepted this place, and even acknowledged that to stay in my heart and head he has to get on with the piggy-wiggy, and he tries, lord knows he tries, but she hates men. I love animals, but still, the concept of animals living with people confuses me. Continue reading
Today is the 11th June, 2013, it’s also the birthday of two complete opposites. On this day, in 1949, Frank Beard, ironically enough, ZZ Tops only beardless member was born. But he has the misfortune to share a birthday with an opposite. Today, in 1987, Dappy, of N-Dubz fame, also wriggled his way into the world. Continue reading
As a child, I was horrifically clumsy. Seriously, I could trip over air. My family called me souvenir for years, because I left pieces of myself wherever I went. If I was a child now, my parents would spend all their time being followed round by child services. But the simple fact was, I was a clumsy little git. Continue reading