Blind arseholes and invisible ninjas. Tilf and Mr Trick have a complaint about idiots.

Ok, those who know me, or have read this quite often know, I am quite tall. I’m 6 foot tall, I’m female, and have followed my genetic code and have bigger than average boobs. I’m also normally in a rainbow wide range of colours, so I ask, how the fuck do people not see me?

I and a friend have started a club, that I think people are members of without realising, where we are somehow invisible. We know we’re there, we saw ourselves in the mirror before we left, but somehow others don’t. But I have worked it out, I have proved every puppy, kitten and toddler theory ever.

If I can’t see you, you can’t see me.

Without my glasses, I’m basically blind. For years, when no one told me it wasn’t right to not be able to recognise someone’s face when they’re more than 6 inches away, I had to improvise. I learned to recognise people by different things; their hair, their walk, their smell, anything I could. Then I got my glasses, and lo, there was light. And dark. And faces. And the floor. Incredible.

But today, it was sunny, so I had my shades on, prescription, which is nice, it means I can see while I’m driving at 70 in the sun. Which makes a nice change. I even have the tint in my sunglasses, which means I can read the signs on the motorway. Awesome. But I had a sudden image of what I looked like, wearing shades indoors. I looked like a Californian douchebag. A pale one. So the shades came off, and blindness descended again.

A woman, a grown woman, who would have told her child to watch where it was going, promptly walked into me. She’d made eye contact with me when I had my shades on, but the second I took them off, and she became a shapeless, slightly heavier on her left foot, no perfume wearing patch on my view, I apparently vanished from her field of vision.


As a child I was informed that I should watch where I was going, respect my elders and stay the hell out the way. It’s bad enough that kids don’t seem to be being taught that anymore, but worse, there are full grown adults that behave like misbehaving brats, and it terrifies me. This makes me sound like a miserable, grumpy old woman, but like I say, it’s not just kids. And I’m not old, I’m only 28, I just feel old, sometimes.

I’m often pushed aside by elderly people, who have the nerve to then tut at me, because I had the nerve to be holding the door open for the next person. I get ignored at counters when I’m asking staff questions, by middle aged people who barge in front of me to demand they their little angel darling brat get the latest whatever.

And it’s really starting to piss me off.

Decide people, either have manners, or don’t, but don’t treat me like a leper because I do have them. Better yet, get some manners, now. Or I may have to start cracking skulls.

Ok, please get some manners, or I’ll start calling parents. Better?


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