Legal highs Vs Cannabis. A clear winner emerges in Tilfs eyes.

So, apparently a lot of people are mad. But I’m madder. And I can make a bigger noise about it.
Legal highs.

Legal highs were created several years ago, after the banning of the sale of magic mushrooms, or ‘shrooms. I know this, because I sold them. All of them. Except Mephedrone, also known as meow meow. I never sold that.

The shop I work in, I am also manager of, sales assistant, stock manager, key holder, customer service, floor manager, area manager, customer advisor, personal shopper and whatever else needs doing. As such, I need to be on top of everything that happens. Which is fairly easy, considering, well, actually, it’s not, but I’m a multi-sensory, kinetic learner. Which means I need a lot of things to be able to learn, I also have to dive straight in and pick it up as I go. And be left alone to drown in new stuff, that’s how I learn. Always have, always will. I was once told that my handwriting was so awful because my brain moved too quickly for my hand to keep up. I was happy about this for a while, then I got angry. It just means that however many things I’m doing, I’m capable of doing more. And learn the best that way, but, the second you introduce another person into the mix, I’m screwed. It all goes to pot and I can’t think.

Anyway, back to the highs. ‘Shrooms were banned from specific ‘head’ shops, which funnily enough is wrong. The head part, it should be ‘hed’, that’s where it’s from, head shops used to be ‘hedonist shops’, it got shortened to hed shop, then wrongly corrected to head shop. That also works though, as head shops, things for your head. Hedonism, by the way, is all to do with pleasure. By the way, for you fellow geeks out there, it was translate to Slannesh of Warhammer world. There you go, knowledge is power. So, legal highs are always, have always and will always be age related, which is why we insisted on ID, everytime. No ID, no service. Standard practice.

Anyway, the first ‘legal highs’ were Wicked Highs. They had different colour packaging, and each colour pointed out a different effect. Each pack had a dosage, an expectable reaction, warnings, ingredients. Everything. They even had a little card in them, so if the worst should have happened, the medics would know exactly what to do. Unfortunately, as with all age related things (they were over 18’s, only) a bunch of kids got hold of them, and took them. Suddenly, as with all age related things, the parents couldn’t accept that their children had no common sense, no sense of responsibilities and a huge sense of “It’s not my fault my child is an idiot, it’s the schools/shops/games/TV.” Right. So just like every other case of child alcoholism, child drug using and child pregnancy, it’s everyone elses fault because they couldn’t be bothered to raise their kids properly, or teach them anything about why something might be age related.

So the Wicked Highs were banned, and a dozen new ones came out. With few warning, ingredients and little or no dosage advice. All of these have been banned and re-released as new mixes, with new ingredients and new names, but with none of the original helpful information.

Now, they’re looking at legislation for them, but instead of using a tried and tested drug, that in the past couple of million years, has only negatively affected a known two people, they want to bring out more.

Lets look at some numbers, shall we? At the moment there are roughly 7.5 billion people on the planet, if we half that, to say, 4 billion people, for sake of argument, lets say treble, that’s how many people have been on the planets surface since man emerged as a two legged ‘civilised’ creature. So, in the space of, say, 4 million years, over 12 billion people, even if we pick a number at random, using extrapolated science, we can say that on average about 1 person in every 10 million, has reacted badly to cannabis. I’ll put it in numbers, that’s 1 in 100,000,000. The odds of winning the lottery are higher.

Actually, you are more risk of being attacked by a shark, then winning the lottery, then being struck by lightning, then dying by cracking your head on a toilet bowl, all in the same day, than you do of reacting badly to cannabis. This drug has been tried and tested for millions of years, it is a natural herb, created by nature, not man. And yet, British governments would rather make people buy a license for untested, chemically made legal highs, than make them buy a license for the sale and production of cannabis or, as it’s also known marijuana, pot, herb, weed, smoke etc.

Maybe that’s just me, but that seems a little backward and quite a lot daft. I don’t even use any drugs, well, I do, but only ‘socially acceptable’ ones, like tobacco, alcohol sometimes and ibuprofen. Mainly because no one will tell me what’s wrong, or fix me. Never mind, I have more important things to worry about. Like stupid laws.

Cannabis, when smoked, has been grown, like any other plant, it’s then cut down, dried out, then added to rolled up cigarettes, or bongs, or food and enjoyed. Different strains of the plant give different effects. The two main, for want of a better word, branches of the plant are Indica (the chill down ‘stoner’ effect) and Sativa (the happy, clappy effect) both of these are good for pain relief, both mental and physical, and are used, all round the world.

Rumour has it that the first month of Colorado legalizing it netted the state 2 MILLION DOLLARS. In tax alone, in one month. Even with the most tight fisted exchange, it’s still close to 1.5 MILLION POUNDS, in a month. Imagine how many schools could be built, how many hospitals could have better equipment, how many councils could have parks built, hostels for the homeless so they can get themselves back on their feet, how many apprentices could be trained, in anything.

That’s a lot of help, all for the price of letting people with ID (over a certain age, I don’t know, 18 or something) sit at home and smoke a joint without fear of their door being kicked in, or their career being ruined because they like a dooby at the weekend.

Maybe it’s just me that’s thinking with a practical brain. Lets have some common sense, do some science, we just spent god knows how much working our scientifically which biscuit is the best to dunk, I’m sure we can find some volunteers to smoke some pot and tell us how they feel!


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