Gothic clothes shopping and other reasons to carry a baseball bat or palm pilot. Tilf and Trick help the nice people at Kates Clothing.

For all the rages I have, one of my quietest ones is at sizes, styles and availability of alternative clothing. If you want to find tracksuits, shell suits, suede skirts or corduroy trousers, you can pick them up anywhere. Although, I can’t think of any reason, apart from extreme levels of brain virus, why anyone would want to wear shell suits, quite apart from the whole Jimmy Saville connotations. Anyway, I digress.

The average Alternative, Goth, Punk, Emo, Scene kid, Club kid, Rave bunny or Metaller has issues buying good, affordable clothing. You have the option of popping up to London, which means a long arse drive or train journey, traipsing through tourists shouting around you, tattoo studio cards being thrust in your face or sign spinners plying their trade near you. Eurgh, no thanks. I hate people, I make no secret of that. They insist on wasting my oxygen and getting in my way, this makes shopping, especially shopping for anything remotely out of the ordinary, really damn hard. As such, I have had to embrace the rapidly growing trend of online shopping, which I also don’t really like. But since I can now buy pillow cases, neko-mimi ears, cat toys, Blu-Rays of Wolverine and Hugh Jackmans beautiful backside at 3am, I’m starting to enjoy it! I can also buy a metric butt-load of gothic, rave and alternative clothing, in a huge range of sizes, without having to deal with people. It’s marvellous.

Due to the fact that I work full-time and run a car and pay taxes, national insurance and every other thing the government squeezes me for, I end up with very little of the cash that I’ve spent all week earning. This means I have to save longer to buy less, curse you government, and so forth. The problem with being ‘different’, see also ‘awesome’, is that I, and others like me, can’t just pop over to Marks and Sparks or BHS or, heavens forbid, Primani, to buy my skin-tight leather trousers, UV reactive Tribal skeleton printed waistcoats, dark comedy tee shirts and 5 inch platform boots. These things, for some unknown reason, (cough cough, quality, style, individualism, cough cough) are more expensive than track suits, unless you spend ridiculous amounts on ‘designer’ brands. If I were to say to you Prada, Armani, Yves Saint Lauren or Pauls Boutique, most, if not all of you, would say “oh they do those gorgeous and/or expensive things that *insert bland celebrity icon here* wears”. However, if I said Spiral, Lip Service, Kreepsville or Aderlass you would more than likely look a little confused, or possibly think I’m either insulting you or propositioning you. But, if you’re into these things, you may say “Oh, I love the Lip Service steampunk range, their Victoriana range in ball gowns was orgasmic to my eyes” or “I love how well made Aderlass is, the subtle little details like bat wing collars”. Or you may be not quite as flaily in the brain as me and say “It’s so well made/beautiful/stylish” I can now combine my great loves (well some of them) in avoiding people, buying beautiful alternative wear and not spending enormous amounts while I do it with Kates Clothing. I looked at Kates Clothing when they started, for having them in the shop, we didn’t go with it, and we missed a huge, well oiled, sumptuously designed train, and I haven’t stopped grumping about it since! But thankfully, now, they have a website, an easy to use, easy to find website; perfect for a techno-tard like me! This is the part where I subtly drop the website in, so you can find it. There, aren’t I good to you? Also, so subtle. They’re even nice enough to have a Facebook page, so you can keep up to date with their reverse auctions. Yay. You may be curious as to why I seem to be doing some kind of business post, some bizarre form of professional arse-kissing, and in a way, I am. Regular readers will know I dream of being a writer for a living, to be able to wear my Wolverine dressing gown, while eating toast all day and occasionally writing a chapter or two is an amazing idea to me! Kates Clothing asked for an epic blogger of epicness, so, for once, I thrust myself into the limelight and presented myself. Not like that, dirty buggers. Anyway, I promptly sat and panicked until I got an e-mail from the lovely team at Kates. And was rewarded for my bravery by them asking if I could do an honest review, and a little rant, about their team, their stock and them. Here’s the problem, if I tell you that they’re amazing, incredible, not too badly priced, you’ll either resent me, and by proxy, them, for me trying to influence your thinking. Or you’ll love me, and again, by proxy them, because you haven’t decided for yourselves. I imagine you’re all fairly sensible people, you must be, you’re reading my blog, so I’ll leave it to you. Decide for yourselves, you fabulous people, if you love them or loathe them. But don’t blame me, with whatever you choose, you picked, I didn’t make you! kates clothing logo


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