Cat slaves and stair falls. Owning cats is better than advertised.

They say never work with animals or children, but they never said anything about living with them. So I live with cats. For some sins at some point or other!

Having a cat means having a tiny, clumsy ninja running round your feet that is simultaneously trying to kill you and be your best friend. Having multiple cats means having those same ninjas, but with added bouts of reflective lunacy and the ability to occasionally gang up on you. But I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I have Boo (old and grumpy, set in her ways and determined to sleep where she likes, even if my face is there already.) I also have Greebo (young, insane, has no ways to be set in, but also no common sense and long, uncontrollable limbs, she sleeps on the stairs, but only when the light is off. She’s black, imagine the falls I’ve had!)

We have fun, and conversations. So I’ll give you a few of the days we’ve had.

Me: Greebo, what are you doing?
Greebo: I lay here.
Me: You’re right in the middle of the stairs, and it’s dark. I might step on you.
Greebo: No, I lay here.
Me: Right, I’m going to bed, stay there, so I know where you are.
Greebo: I sleep here.
Me: *goes up stairs, trips over Greebo who’s moved up two steps and across 6 inches*
Greebo: Argh, why you step? I attack feet.
Me: *in pain*
Greebo: I sleep here.
Me: *wakes up with Boo sleeping in my face and Greebo attacking my toes*
I love my cats.

Greebo: I sit here.
Me: Greebs, no, I have to get ready. Off my lap.
Greebo: No. I sit.
Me: Really, I have to get ready. This is my first class in almost a month, please, move.
Greebo: No, you have no need for class. You need me to sit here. I sit.
Me: Ok. But just got a minute, ok?
Greebo: Ok, I sit. *lays still for 10 minutes, waits until I relax, then does the Wall of Death launch from my lap*
Me: *in pain*
Greebo: Why you scream? I sit?
Me: No.
Greebo: I sit.
Like I say, I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Boo: You opening things?
Me: It’s my cereal.
Boo: It rustles, biscuits? Maybe Dreamies?
Me: Not everything that rustles is for you, the world is full of things that rustle that aren’t for you.
Boo: All things are for me.
Me: Not always
Boo: *walks under feet, trips me, I throw cereal everywhere*
Me: Seriously?
Boo: *between mouthfuls* see, everything is for me.
I’m amazed she isn’t the size of a house.

Me: Greebo, why are you licking me?
Greebo: Shush, I clean.

Me: Boo, you can’t get up there.
Boo: I can go wherever I like, I’m perfectly capable.
Me: Well, fine, I’ve tried, but you’ll get up there and won’t be able to get down. Just you see
Boo: Shut up, I’m cat, capable of all things, balanced and poised *falls off the bed* shut up, I’m getting on the wardrobe.
Me: Fine, we’ll see who’s right.
*5 minutes later, I hear pitiful meowing*
Me: You’re stuck, aren’t you.
Boo: Shut up and get me down. *promptly gets stuck under bed* help me dammit.

I love my fur-babies.


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